Ordering Chinese food today was an absolute trip.  I called the House of Nan King, spoke with a lovely young woman who took my order very diligently, repeated it back to me, and said she’d enter it into the computer and call me back with the total.  I received a call back shortly thereafter, but there was a different house of Nan King employee on the phone – an older woman whose English was a few grades below that of my first caller.  

“Yeah hi Scott?” (I’d given Scott’s name, as he was headed to pick up the chinese food)
“Well, sure.. go ahead”
She started with a disclaimer –
“Yeah girl you just spoke with new, she doesn’t really know how to do it”
“Oh that’s ok”
“So what you want, how many people eating?” (I realized I’d be building my entire order from scratch again)
“There are 7 of us”
“Ok and what you want, beef? chicken? poark?”
“Well I thought we’d get a little bit of everything”
“Ok yeah so you want potsticker appetizer?”
“Yes, two orders please”
“Ok and you like sesame chicken?” (I had ordered sesame chicken – obviously she had my previous order right in front of her) 
“Yes Please”
“There seven of you?  I do two big orders – enough for seven”
One of us is allergic to sesame, so I really only wanted the one –
“You know I think just the one order of sesame chicken is enough”
“Ok and you want one more chicken?”
“Yes the chicken with chinese greens, please”
“Yeah ok chicken mixed veggie” ( a different menu item)
“You know I like the look of those chinese greens”
“Ok yeah baby boc choi greens, I can do that, you want *something unintelligable*”
“That’s fine”
“Ok what else?”
“An order of the sizzling scallops please”
“OK you want *some uninteligible scallop dish*”
“Well I see here ‘sizzling scallops’ – can we have that?”
“Yeah that only come with three pieces of scallop whole dish”
“Well what’s your most popular scallop dish?”
“Most popular? Well that probably be *some unintelligible scallop dish*”
“Ok well I’m just concerned about sesame – I see here one scallop dish has sesame” (menu item: ‘Crispy scallops w/sesame vege’)
“OK you want sesame? yeah I can do that for you”
“No! No, no sesame”

From the other end of the room, somebody laughs and chimes in with “No and den!”

“Oh no sesame.  Ok no problem.  What else, you want a brocoli beef?”

I just started laughing.  Really hard but silently and looking up to the ceiling as she repeated “You wanna brocoli beef?”
“Yes please,” I tried to compose myself “Yes please that sounds great”
She sort of chuckled on the other end, recounted my order, I asked for rice:
“Ok rice for seven people”
Knowing there’s almost always extra rice, I said “You know we don’t actually eat alot of rice, so probably rice for 5 people would be enough”
“Oh ok, rice for five”
“And an order of chicken chow mein”
“Ok chicken chow mein.  Ok thank you!”
“And can I pay by credit card over the phone?”
She had already hung up.

I sort of came down from the call, got up to share some details and have a laugh with the rest of the team, sat down at my desk again and my phone rang.

“Hello?”
*Noise of a restaurant*
“Hello?”
*More restaurant noise*
“Hello preez?”
I hung up.

“Unbelievable.  Now they’re calling me from their pants”  A minute later, the phone rang again.

“Hello?”
“Hi this is house of Nan King”
“Hi there”
“Yeah what time you want to pick up?”
“Well we’re eating at 12:30, so we’d like to pick it up at 12:15”
“OK 12:15 very good”
“And can I pay over the phone with a credit card?”
“Noooooo, no not over the phone”
“Ok, no problem”

I got up and walked over to Scott, gave him the credit card and said they’d be expecting him at 12:15.  Scott put the card in his wallet and I sat back down at my desk.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see my phone getting another call.

“Hello”
“Hi this is house of Nan King” (It was the new girl)
“Oh hello”
“I’m calling so you can pay with credit card for your order”
“Oh.  Ummm ok just a moment please”
I walked over to Scott, tapped him on the shoulder because he was on the phone, whispered that now we can pay over the phone, and he handed over the card.

I gave her the info, the order was processed, and Scott left a half hour later to pick up our $93.46 order of chinese food.

It turned out to be delicious, especially the potstickers, and we enjoyed our first eat-in lunch at the new office.  We had about 2 full boxes of rice leftover.