Gabriel Roberts

The Art and Comedy of Gabriel Roberts

I’m a Medium Guy brought to you by Aldanbertos: Painting Pictures Ep. 42

I'm a Medium Guy - Painting Pictures with Gabriel Roberts

Listen in for: Two major life announcements; packing up Paonia and the perfect load; housesitting is a crime; how to deal with zombies on the highway; thoughts on the Emmys.

Click here to download the episode and subscribe to Painting Pictures via iTunes:

Here’s a permalink to the episode:

Note: This episode of the Painting Pictures Podcast was recorded on September 30th, 2015, hours before I discovered my website had been hacked.  Two months later, the website is back up and running and I can finally share it with you. Stay tuned for new podcasts coming soon!

New Website in the Works

Hi friends,

My website got hacked in October of this year by some silly spammers who preyed on my seriously-out-of-date wordpress site and installed all sorts of links to sites hosting malware.

After a few weeks of all visitors encountering a scary “Reported Attack Site” warning, I’ve finally gotten the place cleaned out.

How to do fancy website-fixing things?

How to do fancy website-fixing things?

We’re starting over with a new theme and an up-to-date version of WordPress. I’m working on restoring all the old images to my posts and to the “Art” page, where I’ll then add images of recent work.

Finally, I have a new episode of “Painting Pictures” ready to release as soon as I get the podcast page of the site sorted out.

I’m learning lots about databases and the giant mess that is WordPress.

Thanks very much for your patience, and I hope to be posting fresh juicy content very soon!

Update 11/29: is back up! New episodes of Painting Pictures coming soon.

Yours truly,

September 2015 Desktop Calendar Background

Hello friends and welcome to September! I may not be the first to welcome you to this wonderful month, it being the tenth already, but that won’t stop me from welcoming you, nor will it stop me from offering up this new desktop calendar background for your computer. Y’all still use computers, right?

This photo comes from Telluride, Colorado, a beautiful little town in the mountains, that, during the summer, has festivals nearly every weekend. Some people will tell you that Telluride has a festival every weekend during the summer. Don’t listen to these people because they’re lying to you intentionally or just exaggerating, which may seem harmless but if you go to Telluride expecting a festival you might be disappointed if there isn’t one. Personally, I was pleased when I went to Telluride in August and there was no festival, but that’s because I’m a low-key kind of a guy.

Click one of the following links to open up a large image and set it as your desktop background: 2880×1800, 2560×1600, 1920×1200, 1680×1050, 1440×900, 1280×800

Rosie The Bedwetter: Painting Pictures Ep. 41

One rainy evening in Paonia, I met a little dog named Rosie… also, the struggle with coffee is real and ongoing, people who put their trash out too early really bother me, and Matt Damon and Emily Blunt shtir shomething deep inshide me.

Click here to download the episode and subscribe to Painting Pictures via iTunes:

Here’s a permalink to the episode:

Paonia Community Mic II

A little over a year after the smashing success that was the Paonia Community Mic, it’s time to do it all over again, in a new venue with some new acts.


This spoken-word open mic will feature comedy, theater, poetry, and storytelling in five-minute acts by inspired citizens of Paonia and beyond.  We are expecting a packed house, so please arrive early to snag a seat.

Time: Friday August 28th, 8pm

Place: Shadoworks Theater (upstairs at the Blue Sage), 226 Grand Avenue, Paonia

Act One: suitable for all ages

Act Two: recommended for adults only

If you would like to do five minutes for a fantastic crowd,

email me at:, or phone (916) 475-3819

Drinks will be available for purchase

This is a free event

Click here to view the flyer:

August 2015 Desktop Calendar Background

You didn’t think I’d forgotten, did you? Well, I almost did. Here we are five days in and you’ve been staring at an out-of-date desktop background and resenting me for not making a new one. That or you’ve gone off someplace else (like here) to get your background. Well, for those of you faithful or lazy enough to still be waiting for a new background from this space, here it is:

This is the view from my backyard here in Paonia, Colorado, looking out across my neighbor’s garden. If you look closely you can find an eight foot tall sunflower. That’s a niiiiiiiice sunflower.

Click one of the following links to open a big image and download it for your desktop. Thanks and happy August!

2880×1800, 2560×1600, 1920×1200, 1680×1050, 1440×900, 1280×800

Death in the Afternoon: Painting Pictures Ep. 40

One hundred and five grasshoppers killed in twelve minutes. House of Cards, house sitting, and calf injuries are discussed. Why to let people treat you like an idiot sometimes. Announcements!

Click here to download the episode and subscribe to Painting Pictures via iTunes:

Here’s a permalink to the episode:

Spring Fever: Painting Pictures Ep. 39

A spring fever yarn from freshman year of high school in Sacramento, CA. A glass is dropped and I reflect on who is to blame?

Download the episode and subscribe to Painting Pictures via iTunes:

Here’s a permalink to the episode:

The Groover brought to you by Breakfast Tacos: Painting Pictures Ep. 38

A solo shimmy from summer storm-soaked Paonia, CO. Rafting, grooving, waking up without an alarm, and iphone voice memos are discussed. Plus a musical interlude from my very own fingers.

Click here to download and subscribe via iTunes:

Here’s a permalink to the episode:

July 2015 Desktop Calendar Background

Welcome to July! It’s truly, officially summertime and at will be all month long (in the northern hemisphere, that is). Time to get out there and swim in some rivers! To get you and your computer motivated, please avail yourself of this background image that features a gas station. Because, you know, you might need to put some gas in your car to get out to that river. But maybe not! Maybe you can bike there! Maybe you can use an electric car or a hot air balloon!

This shot is from Crested Butte, Colorado, a sweet little town where people go to ski and spend money. It’s surrounded by beautiful mountains and river valleys. Click one of the following links to download this image for your desktop, and have a great month!

2880×1800, 2560×1600, 1920×1200, 1680×1050, 1440×900, 1280×800

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