Magic isn’t just something for fools, mystics, or toddlers. Magic is real to the most conservative, closed-minded individuals. They believe whole-heartedly in the magic of waste management.


In today’s society, privileged folks like myself don’t have to deal with unwanted matter – there are always three colored bins within a few paces waiting to accept food scraps, dead pens, and empty coffee cups. It’s quite easy to stay neat and tidy, to re-organize, and to clean up after a team lunch. Now the powers that be have graciously provided us with three clearly defined categories for our refuse: garbage, recycling, and if you live in San Franciscso, compost. But people don’t need to be told what is recyclable, or “compostable”.

They already know what compost is! It’s amazing! It’s the answer to our feelings of guilt and regret tied to all the waste we produce. We’re helping the environment by throwing things in the green bin! Frisco really opened a can of worms with this image:

I’d like to point out the milk carton, the paper plate, and the coffee cup. Now, certainly, these items are all compostable – most paper products are – but these images are far too indicative of lunch, and what’s left over after lunch. It’s just too good to be true, this compost idea, and people have really run with it. Clear-plastic lunch boxes, plastic bags, forks, knives, and more. I want to scream the following:

“Just because there’s a guacamole smear on the plastic container that held your baja fresh burrito, does not mean it’s compostable!”

Of course, we all should have seen this sort of thing coming. What will take this molded plastic form smudged with guac and turn it into soil? Magic, of course. Magical custodians, magical garbage trucks, magical trash-sorting robots, and magical plastic-eating worms.

And we’ve all witnessed the power of these magical custodians, or at least the homage payed to their power:













And if isn’t a paid serviceman or woman, it’s your roommate or your mom – whoever makes your heaping, overflowing pile of garbage in the kitchen and transforms it into a clean, plastic bag-lined receptacle…. as if by magic.