Last week, our “beloved” Bachelorette Emily took two gentlemen on a date. It was the inevitable, dreadful, “two-on-one” date. One rose to hand out, two guys. If you receive a rose, you’re safe from elimination, if you do not, you’ll be heading straight home.
Jon and Nate are the unlucky two chosen for this date, and they meet Emily out in the beautiful Bermuda sea for an afternoon of jumping off rocks and general awkwardness. For dinner, the three head down into the depths of a cave, where they sit side-by-side and stare at the rose Emily is to hand out.
Mercifully, Emily splits the group by taking Nate aside for some one-on-one time deeper in the cave. In confessional, Nate tells us he knows how important tonight is, that he needs to open up to Emily and show her who he is. They sit on a rock and Nate pours Emily a glass of champagne. She asks him “what would you like for me to know about you? Anything I don’t know already”.
Mr. Nate
Let’s just say that this is a ridiculous request. How does one choose one thing to tell about themselves? Emily doesn’t know a darn thing about Nate. He could’ve answered with a joke like “I eat raisin bran for breakfast”. Regardless, having no choice and no time, Nate gives it his best shot. He summons up his whole self, and brings it to the surface for Emily to see. He doesn’t really think about what he’s saying, and rambles a bit about how happy he is to be here, how lucky he is, and how wonderful his family—and especially his brother—are. There are tears in his eyes. Emily rubs him condescendingly on the shoulder and says “oohh hoo you’re so sweet”.
He is sweet, Emily, but more than that he’s courageous. Nate is baring his soul at your request, presenting his big open heart without reservation to a girl he barely knows and a national television audience.
Realizing that he cannot explain his soul with words, and perhaps recognizing Emily’s failure to see him for who he is, Nate stops talking, collects himself, and says “cheers”.
I’m sure that on some level Emily did see him. On some level she felt the presence of Nate’s heart and knew exactly who this man is. But she couldn’t hang. Herself unprepared to be so fearless and bold, incapable of meeting Nate at his level of emotional clarity and purity, she rejects him.
Jon “Wolf”, the data destruction specialist (not that there’s anything wrong with that), gets the rose. Mostly for his confidence and dry tearless eyes.
In confessional, as we watch Nate quietly ride away in a motorboat, Emily shows off her shrewd judgment:
Nate crying about missing his family was so sweet and so endearing, but at the same time, I think that Nate is still really young. He admitted himself that he hasn’t had a whole lot of life experiences, and—*shrugs*—I think that’s a big part of maturity
Nate’s tears had absolutely nothing to do with missing his family. Emily didn’t understand their true source—or refused to look at them for what they were—and happily categorized them as homesick tears from an immature little boy.
I’m upset by Emily and ABC’s heartless compartmentalization of human beings, defined by their careers, their ages, and the things that they say. I recognize the beauty of a person like Nate and his readiness to relate at a higher level, and I salute his intention to love in a true, open, and vulnerable way. And I’m glad, in this case, that he didn’t get a rose, because Emily clearly is not ready for him. She wasn’t ready for Brad Womak last year, and she’s not ready for a guy like Nate. Somewhere, some lucky lady is.
See the clip for yourself at minute 48 here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/367055
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