Park City Utah. The girls are given a sweet suite in a big ol’ hotel that threw down a bunch of money to be on the Bachelor.
Rachel gets the first date card, and Kacie B takes it really really hard. She takes solace in the fact that she can catch a glimpse of Ben:
“As much as it sucks to see him come to get somebody else, at least i get to see him for a minute”. Wow now that’s love!
Rachel and Ben ride off in… a helicopter. Nobody saw this one coming. As the girls jealously watch the helicopter fly away, Monica appears to be swigging on a fifth of vodka. It’s likely still morning.
In the helicopter, Rachel has never seen anything as beautiful and stunning as this. It’s so great to be experiencing this with Ben.
They land by a lake and head off with a picnic basket.
After some anemic conversation…
“this is nice”
“this IS nice”.
“peace and quiet”
they kiss.
Back at the hotel, Kacie B and Monica have a little couch time to discuss how hard this is on Kacie B. Monica doesn’t see a connection between Rachel and Ben. I don’t see a connection between Monica and Ben. Just saying.
Rachel is apparently feeling the pressure on this date. Not really a good sign for her.
After an epic canoe journey out to the middle of the lake and back, they sit on the shore and sip some champagne. Here we discover just how awkward moments can be on this show.
Ben and Rachel have nothing to talk about. Ben squints and Rachel tells him she likes his little winks. Ben corrects her by saying “these are more like squints”. There’s an awkward pause followed by some more sips on the champagne.
Ben points out a beaver dam:
“that’s a beaver dam”
“oh yeah” says Rachel.
More silence.
After the awkward afternoon, they find themselves in a small circular cabin for a fireside dinner. More awkward conversation ensues.
Ben’s grasping at straws, trying to get the conversation going any way he can. He pulls out something about being in a relationship for the long haul, and how it’s important to trust your gut.
Rachel then starts talking about this thing she’s struggled with in the past. We might assume she’s talking about not trusting her gut, which Ben was just talking about. She rambles for a while, until Ben finally asks her what she’s talking about, and she says she’s talking about how she’s bad at communicating. WOW. no kidding.
I’m not really sure how, but Rachel pulls it off and gets a rose. Perhaps there was just enough nebulous relationship talk for Ben to feel like together they had really made some progress. Or maybe Ben just wanted to enjoy being fed s’mores like a baby bird by a pretty girl and sit by the fire. It’d be a shame to waste such a sweet couch-firepit setup by not handing out a rose.
In the end they’re both really happy about how things went. Ben thinks it’s going to be a slow burner. In all fairness, this is a very realistic approach to take following a first date. They can be awkward.
The group date begins with the girls lining up out on the prairie and Ben charging at them like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
Ben on a horse. A heart-stopping combination.
The girls, surprisingly, really like seeing Ben on a horse. Like, REALLY like it. And we, as American television viewers, love seeing skittish girly girls on horses. It’s a win-win. They ride for a little while to a creek where they learn that they’ll be going fly-fishing. The girls go crazy over this prospect because, apparently, they all love fly-fishing.
They set up in their ridiculous waders up and down the creek, and Ben roams from girl to girl giving them lessons. In the process of instructing Nikki, he tells her to just “let it out. let it out sister”. It’s good to be reminded of why I like Ben.
Courtney is on the offensive, as always. She sees Ben giving Kacie B some lessons, and says “I think Kacie B. is cute, and sweet, and… she’s kinda annoying”.
Monica, back at the cabin, predicts Courtney’s downfall on the group date. She has a glass of wine in hand. It’s lunchtime.
Back on the creek, Ben is blown away by Courtney’s fly-fishing skills. And he’s also blown away by the 10-inch “beautie” that she catches. Ben kisses it on the head, and offers it to Courtney for a kiss. She leans in and kisses it too and squeals. So romantic.
After a hard day of fishing, they end up in some anonymous candlelit hotel pool-spa-wicker-loveseat setup. Ben finally gets some time with Kacie S. This girl is gorgeous, and gets about 5 minutes of conversation. Ben reveals that he’s been in love 4 times, which he thinks is fairly normal for someone his age, and insists that he doesn’t fall in love easily. I would question this assertion.
Nikki comes to interrupt, which sucks for Kacie S, but she smiles at Nikki and leaves gracefully.
Nikki then comes on with something very poignant about how her boss died a week before she left, and how it made her realize how important life is, but that she’s not looking for sympathy points or anything. Ben tells her that the day before the show a very close friend of his died. Which makes Nikki look like an idiot. They both agree that they need to make each moment count. And we all know the only way to make this moment count is to kiss, so they kiss.
Then Samantha interrupts Ben and asks him why she’s been brought on three group dates and not a single one-on-one. She says she needs the one-on-one time. This quickly becomes the most painful conversation ever as Ben turns into a complete asshole and shuts her down hard. He says that her “track record” isn’t very good—that she’s been emotional on the group dates and that’s not a good sign. Before she can get a word in edgewise he’s decided that he doesn’t really see this going anywhere and that she should go home immediately. Wow Smantha. That backfired.
She tearfully goes around to say goodbye. One of the girls compassionately tells her “you’re a great person. OK?”
Ben and Kacie B get a little one-on-one in Ben’s hotel room. He says he wanted to kiss her so badly in the creek. Then they kiss, and she smiles, and it’s OBVIOUS that this is the chick for him. Ben knows it, too. “I dunno man, I might end up with her” he says in confessional. Apparently he and the camerman go out for beers on a regular basis.
After rekindling this deep connection with Kacie B, Ben says goodbye to her, gets in his swimsuit, grabs a glass of wine, and heads straight for Courtney. They go up to the upstairs fireplace to make out.
Courtney says she’s having a really rough time, and claims that she’s insecure, and that her spirits are down a little bit. She’s doing a little shrug thing to appear downcast and hopeless. Ben is stunned and starts to freak out a little bit. Dude. This girl is fine. All she wants is for you to give her the rose. SHE’S PLAYING YOU DOG! Soon Ben scurries off for the rose, and Courtney does her little smirky smile, knowing that she’s triumphed. Sometimes I think Ben is a freaking chump. All because this is the finest girl he’s ever had a crack at. And poor Kacie B has to sit there and watch him grab the rose out from right in front of her. Ben claims that Courtney “needed the reassurance”. Right.
Jennifer gets the last one-on-one, and heads off for some adventure with Ben. When they’re gone, Courtney makes a prediction:
“Prediction: I don’t know that Jennifer’s going to get a rose tonight”.
That’s not a prediction. Just saying.
For this adventure date, the show found some crater in Utah with a 300 ft. drop to a pool of water and said “perfect!”.
Jennifer is very scared, and says that “I don’t know anything about craters. Period”. Which is really brave of her to admit, because most of us know alot about craters.
They get in a harness with some helmets on and are slowly lowered into the crater.
“Relationships are all about trust” Ben says for the second time in the last five minutes.
Then they’re dropped down to the water, and they come up and are so relieved and inspired that they made it through the ordeal together. Jennifer remarks that inside the crater “they were completely alone”. Except for the camermen underwater and the camermen abovewater, of course.
Later they ride a gondola in the sunset, and Rachel says “I would never have expected Utah to be this pretty” OOOHHH BURN.
They have dinner somewhere romantic, and Ben clearly explains that “I want the woman to be independent, but needing me…”, which, last time I checked, does not make any sense.
Jennifer gets the rose for being easy-going. I kind of like her actually, and I think she may get pretty far along in the show.
Jennifer claims that this was the best night of her life, which doesn’t speak well to the overall quality of her life up to this point.
Then they run down a hill to a surprise concert that’s put on “just for them” but has a live audience of an additional 300 people. It’s somebody named Clay Walker.
“Clay Walker is a supserstar!” says Jennifer. Right. Ben and Jennifer barge into the middle of the concert and stand up in the back and dance, totally blocking the view of a few poor saps in the last rows.
“It makes me feel really special that Ben would put this together for me”, says Jennifer. Sorry sweetie, but Ben didn’t call in a favor from his good buddy Clay. He had a little help from ABC.
For tonight’s cocktail party, the producers have chosen Emily to talk about Courtney alot and how she’s different around us than she is around Ben. Then they tell her to present her airtight case to Ben about how “one girl” isn’t showing her true colors to Ben. She then dispenses with any effort at anonymity by saying that this “one girl” got a rose on the group date.
Ben calls it pretty well. He advises Emily not to get wrapped up in somebody else, saying it could “consume her”, and that it could “end in her own demise”. Wow.
Emily goes back and tells Casey S and Jamie all about it, and how it didn’t go very well. Casey is Courtney’s only friend (I think because they’re both tall), and sticks up for Courtney saying that she’s “a nice person”, and “sweet to people who are sweet to her”. This is mostly bullshit, because Courtney is only sweet to Casey because they look good walking around together and their relationship will likely yield numerous perfect FB profile pics for both of them.
Like a good little hench-girl, Casey runs and tells Courtney, who says some really scary things about ripping Emily’s head off, and how she’s now on her “shit list” and how once you get on her “shit list” it’s hard to get off.
Ben takes Nikki out on the balcony and it starts snowing. Ben somehow knows that it’s the first snow of the season. He’s up on the weather I guess.
Inside, there’s a really tense stare-down between Courtney and Emily. Courtney obviously is a much fiercer competitor, and totally dominates this matchup. While Emily has the support of most of the girls, she looks like a complete idiot when Courtney calls her out. She says things like “what?”, and “I’m confused”. She asks Courtney to act like an adult, and then squirms and squeaks like a little girl.
Emily gets up and walks away to fall apart, convinced that she’s going home tonight. She is, of course, left until the last rose, but it’s Monica who gets sent home. Not a huge surprise, considering we haven’t seen a shred of conversation between Ben and Monica, much less any chemistry.
I must say I feel sorry for Monica. After her initial antics on the first night, she proved to be a surprisingly reasonable, self-aware, and mature adult. Not exactly what Ben’s interested in at this point, I suppose.
Ben announces that they’re going to Puerto Rico the next week, and Courtney announces that she was just there two weeks ago. There’s an awkward pause before Ben says “Well we’re going there again!!” and they all toast.
On to the awards.
MARF: Casey S. hangs on to this award, although her tattle-tale antics knocked her down a couple notches in my eyes.
Ben’s Best Line: Ben was funny again this week, and had a few solid lines.
Sitting on a horse in front of the girls out in the Utah prairie, he announces “So we’re going go-cart racing today”.
Sitting with Rachel in a rustic circular cabin with a cookstove, Ben says “I constructed this earlier today.”
Ben’s Biggest Mistake: As usual, Ben did very well with his roses. I think he came down way too hard on Samantha, however. Judging by her reaction at being sent home, she really cared for Ben and I think he read into her little request for one-on-one time too much.
The ‘Fit that Didn’t Fit: Monica’s cocktail dress, printed with big red roses on a black background, and showing off a little too much boobie. Topped off by an awkwardly-fitting little black shoulder-jacket, this was definitely the worst outfit of the night.
Pole Position: Kacie B is still in the driver’s seat, with Courtney close behind. I’m going to go ahead and move Jennifer up into third position.
Next week it looks like we’ll see some really big yachts and Emily vs. Courtney part II. Courtney warns that these other girls don’t know what she’s capable of, which apparently involves taking off all of her clothes and convincing a guy to take off all of his clothes AT THE SAME TIME. Skinny-dipping in Puerto Rico. What could be better?
Leave a Reply