This week saw the departure of Bentley, a truly unique presence on The Bachelorette. Openly disinterested in Ashley H, Bentley alternated degrading her privately to the cameras and endearing himself to her publicly with various insidious tricks.
Bentley is a sociopath. Showing complete disregard for the well-being of Ashley, he finally decided to leave after not receiving a rose on the group date. Unsure of how to tell Ashley, and not for a moment considering telling her the truth (that he’d rather “swim in pee than plan a wedding with her”) he pretends that the time away from his daughter is too much to handle, and that he simply cannot be without her any longer.
Before leaving, however, he tries to sabotage her chance at finding love with somebody who actually cares for her (e.g. one of the remaining Bachelors), by implying the possibility of a future relationship with Ashley. Stroking her face, he says “after this is all over, I mean, who knows? I want to leave a ‘dot dot dot’ on the end of this. I know logically we shouldn’t leave a ‘dot dot dot’ but I’m not thinking logically”.
Essentially he leaves himself as firmly planted in her psyche as possible, at once breaking her heart and leaving matters completely unresolved. How is Ashley to move forward now? When you fall for someone, your mind, powered by your heart, will invent any number of scenarios for future possibilities with that person, and the way you approach other potential mates is fundamentally different. Bentley knows this of course, and he knew that leaving Ashley without closure would be his final and greatest “achievement”.
It’s the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen one person do to another person without physically hurting them. I know this is a TV show, and I poke fun at the absurdity of it all, but this girl is really here hoping to find love.
It’s scary to see a relationship like this develop so quickly. How a smart girl like Ashley, in two weeks, could be completely deceived and apparently powerless to stop herself from falling in love with somebody who does not care for her is mind-blowing. She was warned by a former contestant that Bentley wasn’t here for her, and when confronted about it Bentley did nothing whatsoever to show his affection for her or assure her that he cared. All he did was pick and choose the best moment to prey upon her mind and emotions, and methodically tie her to him as he no doubt has done many times before.
Where some men get this training I do not know, but it is as if they have been training—preparing and practicing their powers of illusion, refining their methods of brainwashing. In Bentley we see a man who has perfected these “skills”, and is putting them to work on the grandest of stages. He knows he’s good at what he does, he’s had a long history of psychologically dominating women, and he derives some sick satisfaction from displaying this facility.
Perhaps we should feel sorry for Bentley. Perhaps we should recognize that he has nothing to be proud of but his ability to abuse women. We can imagine the day that his daughter sees these tapes, or his future wife (if he ever finds one). I hope he has come a long way by then, I hope it makes him sick to watch it, and I hope one day he apologizes to Ashley.
As for ABC, they should be ashamed of themselves. For all “The Bachelor’s” talk of helping people find true love, for all their emphasis on “being there for the right reasons”, they sat back and watched as a psychopath maliciously assaulted the star of their show, rubbing their hands together in anticipation of a spike in ratings.
Rozlyn of The Bachelor |
In Jake Pavelka’s season of The Bachelor, one of the Bachelorettes, Roslyn, was abruptly booted from the show after allegedly making out with one of the producers. She was confronted immediately, righteously, and sent packing. Jake wasn’t left to find out the hard way, he was informed after Roslyn had been extracted, and the show played up again the importance of “being there for the right reason”. We were supposed to feel proud of Chris Harrison, indignant at Roslyn, and relieved that good-guy Jake had been saved from some two-timing slut.
Three seasons later, and here comes Bentley. Him making it through the screening process indicates one of two things: either he did an excellent job faking the application, or ABC early on saw the possibility for a villain. Let’s hope it was the former.
Apparently from day one, Bentley expressed openly (to the cameras) his disinterest in Ashley. He clearly stated that she wasn’t “his type”, and that he intended to play the game to win a couple of roses, only to leave at some point down the road.
ABC did nothing. They watched closely and silently as Bentley endeared himself to the Bachelorette, won a rose on the first group date, all the while ramping up his cynicism with private jabs at Ashley’s appearance, and lines like “she’s the type of girl I’d totally hook up with once in awhile”. When he finally decided to leave, they allowed him to enter her house, touch her, hug her, kiss her, make her cry, lie down with her, touch her face, etc. for an extended period of time, then, when he finally left, followed Ashley into her room as she threw herself, sobbing, under the covers of her bed.
If Ashley had seen the tapes of his confessions to the camera she would have screamed bloody murder at his attempt to even approach her. And rightfully so. To allow this predatory beast free reign was highly unethical. To do so purely to drive up ratings and increase profits is immoral. Looking forward to next week!
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