Gabriel Roberts

Truth is Beauty

Month: October 2011

Embarrassing Moments in Gabe’s Life Part I: Selling Clothes at Crossroads

Today I’m excited to begin a series documenting some of the most embarrassing moments in my life.  We’ll go in reverse chronological order, starting here with an event from late September, 2011.

It seemed like a great idea.  Months ago I’d completed a culling session of my dresser and come out with two things that absolutely had to go: a pair of brown Gap corduroys that puffed out too much at the bottom, and a blue wool half-zip sweater I’d bought at Macy’s for $25 and had begun to pill after just one wash.  Discovering that the Goodwill on Castro and Market had already closed, I decided to try offloading the clothes at Crossroads Trading Company.  I’d get some store credit to boot, I thought, and maybe walk out with a chill pair of pants.

If you’re unfamiliar with Crossroads, it’s a consignment store that sells trendy threads for less.  They get their clothes primarily from drop-in sellers—buying on the cheap and selling back to the public for profit.  It’s like a thrift store, but more expensive and without the creepy housewares section.  I’ve made some nice finds at Crossroads, including my favorite blue blazer and a soft, fuzzy wool vest, but this was to be my first time selling clothes.

I strode into the store in the sunny center of a weekday.  I was all smiles, freshly unemployed and happy to be out and about in the quiet time between rush hours.  I proudly announced my intention to sell some clothes to the two girls working the counter, and was instructed to head around the corner and sign in.  I checked my backpack, stuck the tag in my pocket, and rounded the counter to the middle of the store, signing my name on a list behind a couple of other clothes-sellers and starting to peruse the pants.  After a few minutes my brother called, and as I scooted out the door to speak with him the alarm went off, blaring loudly but fortunately stopping as I jumped back inside and handed the tag to one of the girls behind the counter.

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Festival Guilt

It’s Sunday afternoon.  You’re sitting on your back patio, settling into the next chapter of your 955-page book, and sipping a glass of water, when you get a text message that ruins your whole afternoon: “Hey you heading down to HSBG?”.

At first glance, this may seem like anything but an afternoon-ruining message.  A good friend of yours has just invited you to join the festivities at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in Golden Gate Park.  But as you consider your current state of being, envision the event in motion, and imagine the journey required to get there, you realize you have suddenly come down with a serious case of San Francisco’s particularly virulent illness: Festival Guilt.

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Sunflowers on the Table

Photo of a charcoal drawing of sunflowers by Gabriel Roberts

Sunflowers 10.10.11
Charcoal on Paper
18 x 24

Today I finally got to drawing the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers I purchased last Friday. In the background is one of my paintings on the floor.  Check out more of my recent work here.

How to Grate a Block of Cheese: The Miles Cheese Pyramid

I love cheese.  I eat veggie burritos at least once a week, and quesadillas almost as often.  Naturally, I get the good stuff—Tillamook medium cheddar cheese.  In the interest of saving money, I usually buy it in the large one-pound loafs.  These babies are great thing to have in the fridge, but when it comes time to grate, complications arise.

The main problem is the sheer size of the loaf.  Using a standing cheese-grater, or worse—a hand-held grater—the large block of cheese is terribly ungainly.  It’s too large and heavy to hold easily in one hand an apply the necessary pressure to get a good, efficient grate going.  For the past few years, I’ve suffered through the first half block of cheese, grunting with effort, standing on my tippie-toes, and laboriously grating away until, a couple weeks later, the size of the block is finally manageable.

Fortunately, I’m blessed with an exceedingly clever family—one that encourages innovation and always seeks the best approach to any task.  Enter the pyramid cheese block:
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